if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize