i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So vagazzling was a success
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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