If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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