Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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