Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
