Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize