Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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