he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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