i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
