Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
