She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
