Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
