I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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