One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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