"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
