I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
