where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's Friday. Sex?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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