Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
