butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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