Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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