Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
