I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
