dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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