if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize