so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
