Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
