I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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