so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
