I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
