i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
