i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
