I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
