Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
