Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
honey bunches of taint.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
