basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
