I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
