He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
