The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
