he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
