Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got chris browned last night
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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