Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
