ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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