dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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