Don't make out with my wife yet
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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