Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
