i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
