Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
