one might say we're banned from that church
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it was like eating out sand paper
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
