honey bunches of taint.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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