were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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