were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This house was built for laser tag.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
