New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
