meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
