I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
