I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
