Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you will always have a special place in my vag
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
