That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
