i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
there is glitter all over my balls
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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