I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
