He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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