I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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