It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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