K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize