I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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