I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
