I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
