What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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