so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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