im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
