I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
