I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
