i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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